Well I’m back again, Better and changed. A whole lot. Since my divorce is final (august 24) I’m single. But still living with my ex. Strange this. The past week we’ve found each other again (really found each other in many different ways and locations) and then I lost her again….. I've met somebody (B) at a Divorce course. B’s done the same as my ex
I've not slept very well tonight. Got up at 3:30 am and started blogging again. Went back to bed at 4:45 am. Woke up at 6:15 again... This morning the kids are going to tennis camp. They will be away all week. Because I'm free from work this week this will be my first whole week alone in the house (at least during the daytime) ever. The kids ha
Love Where art thou When I need thee most I am all alone now Making a new post
it's almost like I'm falling for him all over again Hi Dharma, Let is be so. It only strengthens your bond. Make it one of the best times of your life. Be seeing ya..... Kees (this is my real name pronounced like "case")
Yes, you're right. Like I wrote in my latest post. I'm alone every day during daytime this week. And wednesday even at night. Kids are out camping. This must be my week to get it all together. I'm glad I decided to go English in my blog....
Slept like shit. I Woke up at 3:00 am and couldn’t sleep anymore so I started blogging. Tried to return to bed at 7:00 pm but it didn't work. Miek got up 7:20. She's changed again. Emotions are gone. She thinks I'm a nuisance now. Crying and all. Had a long and hard talk with her. She tells me to get a grip. Look at the future and try to imagine how it’s go
Trust those of us who have gone before you I do. And I thank you for telling what to do. I am full grown. But in living a life by myself I'm just a beginner. I'm behaving like a whiner don't I. 42 years old and behaving like a baby. I'm off from work this whole week. Miek's got to work an the k
Yes you're right. It was. And no I'm not getting them used to sleeping in my bed. It was for my benefit only. I'm supposed to be able to sleep alone...
Hello Johnny, Your right I am drowning myself in my loss. The problem with me is I haven’t had a life of my own. Pathetic isn’t it. I’ve left all decisions to my wife. Even friends are hers. So I feel a little alone. Getting a grip is a problem. Building a new life, is building A life for me... Starting from scratch. I’m not forgetting my children. At least that is an accomplishment. And yes I should join something to get my mind off
I didn't sleep well tonight. Got up around 2:00 am and started blogging again. This is when I wrote the summary of my first 50 days. Got back to bed at about 5:00 am and slept till 7:00 am. Not many hours I know. Miek is coming home today…. My son’s made breakfast. He’s 8 years old and doing very well for his age. We ate and I SMS’ed Miek to ask when
Melissa, CAN you really ever be friends with a past love, regardless of how the relationship turned out I'm in a separation process at the moment. I have two kids. So I have to be friends with my ex. Not only because of my children but because I spent 18 years of my life with her. We don’t
Yesterday Miek has gone to her father. She wants to stay the night there and probably two. This means I’ll be alone with the children for about two days. There’s nothing wrong with that of course. But haven't been alone in years at night. My children have slept in our bed with me tonight. They asked me if they could and I agreed. I won’t be alon
Hi everyone, I didn't expect these reactions. Thanks all of you. If I had known anybody cared from the beginning I'd have written them all in English. It's this kind of support that can help me through the month’ to come... To make thing somewhat clearer: my partner and I are not in a fight and are not having any arguments. She doesn’t love me anymore. We still have to live in the same house for about 5 month’. That doesn’t make it any
there's alway a little fear re-entering the world alone Thanks, this is indeed what I'm most afraid of. My wife was always the one who made decisions. I agreed. Now I’m supposed to do it all on my own. That’s scaring. But she’s in my hart and head. That’s a problem because I can’t shake it off. Ever
Hi, I'm KiD. I'm 42 years old, two kids (a girl of 11 and a boy of 8) and until recently I was married. This blog is/was meant to be my personal diary. I’ve written down my feelings and frustrations since the day my wife told me she wants to get out. To find her own life again… Until today I only wrote this in Dutch. Since only a few of you speak/
You're athiest, right Well.. I have no religion and have no respect for anything bad done (now or in the past) in the name of any religion. I do not believe in a higher power except nature itself. I’m not seeking for any either… First in life is to
I know I did when I was christian.... Sorry not got to bed yet. You were? Aren't anymore? Why?
Well, its 2:15 Thursday august 12 at night at my side of the world. So after I’ve slept a few hours I’ll try to first write a kind of summary for the past 50 days since my wife told me she wants to leave, after 18 years! I'm 42 years old and have two kids (boy 8 and girl 11)...... You'll see the first English entry tomorrow. Since it’s a diary I’ll try to make the English version more booklike? Or just like I write it in Dutch? I’ve only b
Hi dharmagrl, Interpreting any religious book is a very tricky game. This is one of the reasons I’m an atheist. History tells us that there’s not much good coming from any religion at all when interpreting is left to people who only interpret in their own interest and to justify their own actions.
Hi, Thanks for your support. Yes indeed, English is my second language, German my third and I too speak (some) French. I almost only read English books and that's helped my English improve over the years. Would you or anyone be interested in an English version? The content isn’t very happy. I write down my feelings and frustrations. And some days it’s much and someday it isn't… If anyone is it may be a challenge to me to produce a Du
Ik kan weer niet slapen. Ondanks de druppels ben ik weer om 0:00 uur wakker. Een uur wakker gelegen en naar Miek gekeken. Wat is ze toch mooi!! Uiteindelijk opgestaan en nu zit ik hier weer te tikken. Ik ga nu weer beter dit blog bijhouden. Ik merk dat ik toch teveel vergeet van wat ik meemaak/voel op een dag. Het is nu 01:33uur en ik ga nog wat druppels nemen en naar
It's Dutch and its supposed to be for me only. On an English site almost nobody can read this. That's the whole point you see. This is my diary about my wife wanting to leave me...
Ik wordt om 2:37 wakker. Ik kan dus niet meer slapen. Ik kijk naar Miek en raak weer vol. Ik raak haar aan door de dekens. Ze wordt geirriteerd wakker en zegt dat ze niet eens normaal kan slapen. Fuck fuck fuck.... Ik ben zo vol van je... Begrijp dat dan toch... Ik ben verliefd en die liefde wordt niet beantwoord... Nu zit ik weer te tikken om 3:53uur in de nacht... G
Redelijk geslapen. Miek was vroeg wakker. Ze is naar beneden gegaan; Jeanique ook. Ik hoorde dat ze aan het Yahtzee'en waren. Leuk. Ik kon dus niet meer slapen. TV aangezet. Miek kwam weer boven en heeft zich aangekleed. Weinig gezegd. Miek wenst me gedag en gaat naar d'r werk. Ik ben weer gaan slapen en was uiteindelijk pas laat op. De kinderen hebben zich b
Redelijk geslapen. Vandaag is mijn eerste vrije dag. We gaan vandaag met Els naar het strandje. Uitgeslapen. Lekkere tosti gegeten en om 11:00 uur naar het strandje gereden. Els was er al met Tessa. De kids hadden er erg veel zin in. Nog met Els over de situatie gepraat. Zij vertelde me ook dat Miek gewoon haar eigen weg volgt en dat het nu te la
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