Pre-emptive Profanities

from JoeUser Forums

*Dad don't read this!*

Call me crazy, but I can curse like a sailor. I try to never cuss in front of my children, so usually by 9pm each day, I sound like a person afflicted with Tourette's. The obsenities flee from my mouth like our newly released pet bird.

During the day, Zombie giggles and pokes fun at my "alternative" attempts to pre-emptively strike against my cursing nature. I have been known to shout, "Sunny Beaches of Texas" instead of SOB when I stub my toe. I can be heard yelling, "God....bless America!" when something crashes to the floor in the kitchen. These are but a few examples of my pre-emptive curse phrases.

So, I would like to add a few more substitutes to my repertoire. What alternatives could you lend me, fellow JUs?

misc
7,338 views 6 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
One I always fall back on (though I don't really cuss), because it brings up such fond memories of AP Physics in High School is kronk.

My Physics teacher Mr. Jackson used kronk all the time. When we asked him what it meant he said (in the best cranky, mad-scientist, geezer sort of voice) "Take every swear word you ever heard. Roll 'em up in a ball. That's what kronk means." When he was really mad he used kruck. That is kronk^100.

They have stuck with me to this day.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

Blue Dev

Interesting, kinda like the curse word form of "supercalafragalisticexpialadocious" (whew....don't spell check that one)

How the kronk do you spell that word anyway?

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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Horse hocky is a good one around my house. I try not to curse, but I'm not very good at not cursing.


Peace,

Beebes
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Motherfather is good . . . and I say sonofadonkey for some weird reason. Sonofamother is also good. As is freakin'A. There's more where those came from . . . ha ha ha.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
I use God bless my starapples and bananas all the time. Starapples is a fruit from my homeland. Freak or freaking or sons of sams. Unfortunately, I haven't found a replacement for sh#t yet.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top

DeathByBeebles

Horse hocky

I like that. Used in place of sh#t? 

Tex

Motherfather is good

Now this one is definitely going into immediate use.

Sonofamother

Nice. I tend to use Sunny beaches of Texas for that one.

There's more where those came from

Do tell. Give us more, Brandie.

foreverserenity

Freak or freaking or sons of sams.

I often use freak or freaking, too. It comes in quite handy.