Have you ever....?

Have you ever looked at a woman with kids and think 'Cripes!  Someone got that pregnant!  Eeww'?

I have.  There's a woman who works at the hospital here on base who is without question the most unattractive person I have ever seen.  I used to think she was retarded - the military has contracts with companies who employ retarded (not the PC term, I know, but I'm not terribly PC.  If you don't like it....well, bite me.  It's my blog, so I'll describe people how I want) adults.  They come and do the cleaning at the hospital and other squadrons and facilities on base - and I used to think that she worked for them. She just looks retarded, you know?  It doesn't help that her personal hygeine leaves a lot to be desired - for some reason I tend to equate poor hygeine with low intelligence.  Dunno why, I just do. Speaking of low intelligence, she is, by all accounts, not the sharpest knife in the drawer, and has the personality of a brown paper bag.  She's not one of these people you can describe as having 'a wonderful personality'.  Poor woman, she's just....just.....well, I don't know.  I'm finding myself at a loss as to how to describe her in any kind of positive way. Anyway, it wasn't until my son informed me that he was in the same class as one of her kids that I figured out that no, she was NOT retarded and she was married, to boot.   I was shocked, and I don't shock easy.  I added horror to that shock when I realized that she had KIDS.  Plural.  Two kids, actually.  I haven't seen her husband yet, and I'm not sure that I want to.  I would like to know if they have sex with the lights out, though.

Have you ever looked at someone and wondered if they looked in a mirror before they left the house that morning (or ANY morning)?

I have.  There's a girl who works at the convienience store that I frequent who has eyebrows that look like she took a brown crayon and a coffee cup, held the cup over her eye and used it as a template to draw a thick brown semi-circle on her forehead.  I've only ever seen brows like that one other time - in Saloon Number Ten, Deadwood, South Dakota (the place Wild Bill Hickock was killed).  The woman was in her 50's and she too had semi-circular brows, except hers were skinny black ones.  I'm curious to know what motivates the woman who works close to my house to do that to herself, and I wonder how in the hell she can think she looks okay.  Nobody else has brows like that, or brows that are even CLOSE to that.  Where the heck did she get the idea to do that, and why does she think it looks okay?  I simply do not know - but I'd love to ask her sometime. 

Have you ever had the urge to punch someone in the face because they were being so fucking stupid?

I have.  Last week was the most recent time it happened was last week when I was stuck in traffic in downtown St Louis.  I was on a 2 lane street, about 50' back from a stoplight.  There was a minor accident at the stoplight, so traffic in my lane was backed up.  To my right (passenger side) there was a hoteal, and about 2' behind my truck was the entrance to the hotal parking lot.  There was a car in front of me, and a truck so close behind me that I couldn't see his license plate.  A woman in a car coming from the opposite direction pulled up with her left turn signal on and started beeping her horn at me and pointing to the parking lot.  I pointed in front of me so she'd see than I couldn't pull forward, behind me so she'd see the truck that had not only given me any room but was also blocking the entrance.  10 seconds later, she beeped and pointed again.  I pointed again.  10 seconds after that, another beep.  I ignored her.  10 seconds...another beep.  At that point I rolled down my window and yelled "what the fuck do you want me to do, lady???!!!  Where would you have me go??!!!???  I can't pull forward, I can't back up....what the fuck do you want me to do??!!!" ...and she just looked at me and pointed her stupid fucking finger again.  I rolled up my window and tried to ignore her.  10 seconds later....another beep, and another point.  The urge to get out and punch her in her stupid fucking face was overwhelming.  Man, it would have felt so good...but the consequences wouldn't have been worth it.  If I'm going to go to jail, it aint gonna be for some random act of violence over a car horn and a finger.  So, I just turned up the radio and stared straigh ahead until the cops started to direct traffic and I could move away from her and her finger and beepy little horn.

Have YOU ever wondered, JU?  If you have, will you tell me about it?