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Women, Help me Understand

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Women, Help me Understand

Why do so many of us dislike sex?

from JoeUser Forums

I noticed in an article by a fellow female blogger that she mentioned hating sex.  This added to a long list of women I know of who at the very least feel they could live happily forever without it.  I don't get it!

My best friend from childhood told her husband, after having their first baby that she couldn't have sex for 6 months rather than the truth of 6 weeks.  She told me she just doesn't enjoy sex and getting pregnant was like work.  I couldn't help but tell her she must be doing something wrong!

I have plenty of lady friends who proclaim proudly that they can happily go months without sex.  What the hell?!  I'm not a nympho but I am compared to those ladies.  I can't imagine life without sex, or at least I don't want to imagine it.

So, can anyone explain this to me?

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12,562 views 30 replies
Reply #26 from JoeUser Forums Top
Angela: Your husband's military, right?

Either the military isn't requiring your husband to keep a basic level of fitness or your idea of what is "squishy, flabby, messy, and gross" is really skewed.

Did anyone see Family Guy last night? Hehe. Really applies here.
Reply #27 from JoeUser Forums Top
Either the military isn't requiring your husband to keep a basic level of fitness


This could very well be the case, I worked with a lot of squishy people when I was AF. We live in an AF town now and there are some fat G.I.'s here, I see them out in their uniforms all the time.

Honestly, if my husband became obese I would find that a big turn off. Would I still love him? Yes of course, but the physical attraction would be down several notches.

I think men can accept a little more fat on women because we have so many yummy places to put the extra weight....hips and boobs!

I don't know 88's issue. It sounds like it may be more than the weight? Maybe they are having a hard time right now.

I hope things work out for you Ang, and if you take anti-depressants I know they are supposed to kill the urge...so its a hard situation and I empathize.
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Reply #28 from JoeUser Forums Top
This could very well be the case, I worked with a lot of squishy people when I was AF. We live in an AF town now and there are some fat G.I.'s here, I see them out in their uniforms all the time.


From what I've seen, the AF tends to be the most relaxed about fitness of all the branches of the military (not that there aren't fatties in the Army...just see a lot fewer of them, and they're usually officers, hahahahaha).
Reply #29 from JoeUser Forums Top

Yes, that was me. I hate sex. I used to love it though. I went through a nymphomaniac stage in my mid-20's, married the guy, then *POOF* sex became less and less fun. Then my husband gained a lot of weight, and now sex is just a squishy, flabby, messy, gross thing. I did state in my blog however that sex is still an occasional treat. Sometimes I just have to overlook the squishy, flabby, messy aspects. Also I've had chronic depression since I was fifteen, and doctors tell me that depression can wreak major havoc on one's libido.

Frankly, Angela, from a guy's point of view, your attitude is pretty disgusting. You wonder why you don't have a happy marriage; did you ever stop to think the problem might have more to do with YOU than you realize?

You've blogged pretty consistently about YOUR depression. Yet you overlook a rather obvious possibility here; more often than not, when men let themselves go, depression is a factor. And "turning off" sex, let alone expressing disgust for it, is exactly the WRONG response. From what I've read, your husband's pretty close to candidacy for sainthood for enduring your lousy attitude towards the man you made a commitment to.

I'm truly blessed my wife didn't share the same rotten attitude when I gained weight.

Reply #30 from JoeUser Forums Top
thought I had missed something and was confused. Neither dharma nor I named any names so you totally outed yourself


Yep, she did. The only editing I did was when I typed and deleted numerous times trying not to be a beeatch but still get my message across.


This could very well be the case, I worked with a lot of squishy people when I was AF. We live in an AF town now and there are some fat G.I.'s here, I see them out in their uniforms all the time.

Honestly, if my husband became obese I would find that a big turn off. Would I still love him? Yes of course, but the physical attraction would be down several


The weight management program -AFI 10-248 Link - is still in effect but you're right, there ARE some overweight people in the AF - and the reservists are even worse. It makes me ashamed to be associated with the same military as them sometimes. But, there are limits still. Yes, some people are overweight, but they're not OBESE.

I guess I don't know how Angela can say that she loves her husband when she describes the most intimate, sacred moment a married couple can share as gross, flabby and messy.

Does your husband know that you described sex with him that way? How do you think he'd feel if he knew?



Frankly, Angela, from a guy's point of view, your attitude is pretty disgusting. You wonder why you don't have a happy marriage; did you ever stop to think the problem might have more to do with YOU than you realize?


I'm glad that it's not just a woman's issue.