Stardock please call technical support!
Seriously not trying to be a smartass or anything are there not some IT professionals or networking company, consultants or something of that nature that for a nominal fee could come in and fix the multiplayer? I respect Stardock as a company and even made the final decision to buy Demigod after learning of the pirate fiasco to show my support for what you do.
That being said I only have a limited amount of pc time each day and it is currently filled with utter frustration at the connection issues which are steadily getting worse for me (last week I could play custom games fine, with last patch that is not working). And yes, before I get attacked by the tech gurus my ports are forwarded, no anti-virus etc. etc.
Anyway, hope you fix it soon it just keeps getting worse for some users..........