Accusations mean you are guilty?

from JoeUser Forums
I was watching a tv show a few days ago, and there was a couple on it, that were claiming that social services had wrongly taken their children from them. Now I don't know if in their case that's right or wrong, but I'm sure that it must happen in some cases where these things happen, and people are accused of things, and they aren't correct. I've seen people get accused of child abuse, or of having indecent pictures of children, or whatever, and they are cleared of all charges. Yet that stigma stays with them. Getting accused of something, in some ways is worse than getting found guilty of it. Because when you are found guilty, you go away and you serve your time, you are punished. When you are just accused, and found innocent, many people seem to think that you have just escaped punishment, afterall, there is no smoke without fire. I've seen it happen many times over. A good example is celebrities that have been accused of such things. There are a few minor celebrities over here, whose names have been dragged through the mud, and then they were cleared. It is so difficult for them to rebuild their careers. The best that many of them can hope for is some voice over work. More recently Kate Moss was in the papers for drug abuse. Some of her advertisment details fell through, but on the whole she came through it career wise pretty unharmed. Was this because she admitted she had a problem? Or maybe because we can forgive drug abuse, but there are some things that are just unforgivable.

Now I have thought about where I stand on this topic, and though I can see both points, I have to admit that once I was in the situation, I don't know how I would deal with it. For example, if I had a child, and I asked my friend to look after my child, but I found out that many years ago her partner had been accused of child abuse(whether that's sexually or physically) but was cleared of all charges. Would I be fully comfortable leaving my child in their care? Honestly, I don't think I would. I know that's a terrible thing to say, but I can only be honest, and I think my gut instinct would be to take my child elsewhere. If and when I do have children they will be my number one priority, their safety and well being will be what matters to me, and I will do everything in my power to protect them from what I can. So why would I put them in a situation, where I didn't have 100% confidence in the people I was leaving them with? Even if my reasoning behind it, isn't altogether fair. I realise that for all I know that anyone could be guilty of these things, and you just never know, but I just think that my heart would tell me not to leave my child with them. On the other hand I could get to know my friends partner very well, and have complete confidence in him. I guess I will never know until I am in that situation.

What about if the shoe was on the other foot though, and I was accused of something? My world was turned completely upside down, and I was completely innocent? That I had my children taken away, and other people wouldn't trust me with their kids? How would I feel then? I know that I would feel awful, and anyone that is wrongly accused, my heart does go out to them. Because knowing what everyone thinks of you, even though you was only accused of something must be awful. You'd start to question whether those closest to you believed you. Whether they knew enough of your character to know you aren't capable of such things? Or would they be thinking, well you never can tell with people. Will they be questioning their own judge of character? How would I cope with people whispering behind my back? How would I convince people that I was innocent? Honestly I really do feel for these people, but I still stand by my gut instinct. Maybe I am wrong, but I am only human.
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3,710 views 5 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
We have 24 hour a day news to credit this for, you or I are tried in the news long before we ever get to court.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

What MM Says is true.  And I do agree with you.  All too often, people are guilty regardless of the court outcome.  2 cases that come to mind of prominent people are Michael Jackson and Robert Blake.  They will never get their lives back because they were tried and convicted in the media, even tho a court of law found them not guilty.

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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

Sally,

This is why I call the CPS hysteria "the new McCarthyism". Just as the stigma of being labelled a "Communist" affected the wrongfully accused long after the accusations were lobbied, so does the stigma of being labelled a "child abuser", often by anonymous accusers.

We live in a small county (20,000 people in the entire county). The false accusations of neglect (NOT abuse) levied against my family have assured me that I can never work in this area in the career where I have the most experience (working with developmentally disabled adults. The sad thing is, we were accused in retaliation for trying to help house Hurricane Katrina victims (because a number of people openly stated they didn't want "N-----s" in OUR town!"). Another family I know had their children removed because the family didn't have utilities on in their home. In other words, their poverty was treated as a crime.

Families are routinely falsely accused of abuse and neglect. Only 3% of the families whose children are removed allegedly for abuse or neglect will ever be criminally tried for abuse and neglect, and CPS' own reporting standards report that roughly 70% of their investigations are unfounded (and even many of the "founded" cases are either extremely petty or easily remedied, as should have been the case with the family who lost their children because of the lack of utilities).

One ancient Greek philosopher once stated that there would be no justice until those who weren't victimized by the justice system were just as outraged as those who were (a rough paraphrase). We need to stop the harassment of innocent families. And we need to stop accusing those who speak out against such harassment of "defending child abuse" (trust me, I have received more than enough nasty emails to be able to speak authoritatively on this).

As I have often said in our own defense, below are the three accusations levelled against us in our recent CPS encounter:

1. Weeds and junk in our yard

2. We "didn't allow our children to attend school" (we homeschool, and this is a well known fact; even the CPS worker dropped this one as soon as we informed her of that fact).

3. Our then 16 month old son was seen shoving food into his mouth at a dinner in the community.

Which of those screams "abuse" or "neglect" to you? Which of those would be justification for tearing someone's life apart?

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Look at what happened to Pete Townsend, for instance. His user id is found in association with child porn websites so he is instantly accused of being a child pornographer. The less-savoury press had him cast as a monster before he even had a chance to answer the allegations.

Small-minded people are always going to make it hard on those they don't bother trying to understand.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
We have 24 hour a day news to credit this for, you or I are tried in the news long before we ever get to court.


That's so true. The media plays a major influence on what people think.

2 cases that come to mind of prominent people are Michael Jackson and Robert Blake. They will never get their lives back because they were tried and convicted in the media, even tho a court of law found them not guilty.


Exactly, people with never forget the accusations and they will never let them forget it either.

The sad thing is, we were accused in retaliation for trying to help house Hurricane Katrina victims (because a number of people openly stated they didn't want "N-----s" in OUR town!"). Another family I know had their children removed because the family didn't have utilities on in their home. In other words, their poverty was treated as a crime.


That is just terrible, it's really hard to believe things like that go on. I'm so sorry you went through that.

70% of their investigations are unfounded


That's disgusting! Sounds like they don't know their arse from their elbow!

Small-minded people are always going to make it hard on those they don't bother trying to understand.


Well said Maso....thanks all xxx