Kol Battleship needs reworking to match its phallic might. OFFICIAL Kol <3 thread - UPDATE!

from Sins Forums

I propose several changes to make Kol worthy of being on Rebellion retail box:

1. GRG is too weak. Replace it entirely with mini novalith cannon. Because it's smaller version of also very sexy Novalith Cannon, it can only target planets 10 jumps away. But don't worry, it somewhat makes it up with ability to shoot on the move. Novalith kiting is now reality!

2. Bombers. Yes, we all hate those little buggers because they're only counter to our beloved Red Button. Because I don't want to give another semi-decent ability to Our Glorious Kol in fear of being flamed by TEC-haters, I propose another solution. New tech called:

2 for the price of 1!

When building Kol, you get 2 Kols instead of 1. If flak burst from 1 Kol is not enough, then you can use 2! You can't say it's OP, because 1 Kol is still balanced. Also, it makes it so much easier to get full fleet supply of Kols. WOW!

3. Pew Pew factor. Kol needs  more lasers, and more autocannons. They also need to be flashier. Much flashier.

Oh, and give it some Battlestar Galactica style flak guns. It helps to solve 2 problems: Kol can't rape 100 bombers and not making enough nice pew pew.

 


UPDATE:

Because Kol is so frail, it needs some additional speed to get out of dangerous situations. It should be buffed with Nyan Drive:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Re5G-kxgVIw

 
Not to mention, it will make your Kols look more speshul!

Great idea Pbheah, +1!

 

Comment please!

35,405 views 53 replies
Reply #1 from Sins Forums Top

bad troll

Reply #2 from Sins Forums Top

Quoting Volt_Cruelerz, reply 1
bad troll
Your grasp of the obvious is inspiring.

Sins of a Solar Empire II
Reply #3 from Sins Forums Top

It's over the top to match increasing absurdity and fanboism of this forum. It's appropriate.

 

Reply #4 from Sins Forums Top

Oh, I like these ideas.

Reply #5 from Sins Forums Top

I agree.  I think the Kol is such a masculine ship.  I often build the Kol Battleship because it says Battleship and must be overpowered.  I often like to build this ship because its inherent masculinity compensates for my embarrassment of my own real life masculine image.  It really makes me feel powerful when I sit down in my chair and I see my Kol Battleship launch into the star.  Sometimes I can't control my sexual urges when I see it's big guns unload all over the enemy ship.

 

Reply #7 from Sins Forums Top

*read*

*facepalm*

*close browser*

Reply #8 from Sins Forums Top

Add fore and aft photon torpedo launchers as well please.

Reply #9 from Sins Forums Top

I agree too. But mecha forgot about most important thing. Kol need something to counter moving starbase , and generaly all starbases. thats why i propose to ass a nuclear warhed launcher.

Withe a nuke Kol could kill sb in 1-2 shoots. Also Mushroom cloud would look awesome:)

Reply #10 from Sins Forums Top

Screw that i want the invincible kol, double hp and armor, double firepower, double awsomeness. I want to win a game with 1 kol.

 

Sometimes I can't control my sexual urges when I see it's big guns unload all over the enemy ship.

 

This is what makes me stay on this forum, he is entierly right, we need a sexyer kol we can relate to.

Reply #12 from Sins Forums Top

Quoting Mecha-Lenin, reply 11
I agree too. But mecha forgot about most important thing. Kol need something to counter moving starbase , and generaly all starbases. thats why i propose to ass a nuclear warhed launcher.

Withe a nuke Kol could kill sb in 1-2 shoots. Also Mushroom cloud would look awesome:)


FACT: Battlestar Galactica had nukes.

CONCLUSION: Kol should have nukes.

Reply #13 from Sins Forums Top

I thought it already had nukes? For bombing planets?

Oh for anti-ship use.

I approve, with the blast effect that spans the whole gravwell and destroys every bomber.

Reply #14 from Sins Forums Top

Now your starting to think like a modder ;)

Reply #15 from Sins Forums Top

Quoting ZombiesRus5, reply 14
Now your starting to think like a modder

Stop it!

Modders would try to change all three battleships into uber ships of death with an appropriate counter measure that balances out their OPness.

Reply #16 from Sins Forums Top

Quoting Ryat, reply 15
Stop it!

Modders would try to change all three battleships into uber ships of death with an appropriate counter measure that balances out their OPness.

Which means you get back to square 1 and could be not modding at all?;)

Reply #18 from Sins Forums Top

I think the Kol Battleship does need reworking but don't all battleships need a little rework to counteract the starbases?

Anyways heres what i think.

1. improve the main gauss cannon to do more damage.

2. improve the flak guns to cause some real damage. (this is a battleship for pete's sake)

3. improve the main batteries to give this warship more "omph!".

 

I am saying that yeah that the Kol needs to improved. But, I am not saying that I lose self control whenever this warship fires her batteries.

BTW, the guy who introduced this needs a C+ in trolling 101.

Reply #19 from Sins Forums Top

Quoting Quosar57, reply 18
I think the Kol Battleship does need reworking but don't all battleships need a little rework to counteract the starbases?

Anyways heres what i think.

1. improve the main gauss cannon to do more damage.

2. improve the flak guns to cause some real damage. (this is a battleship for pete's sake)

3. improve the main batteries to give this warship more "omph!".

 

I say we also slap on some flames on the thing, both real and fake flames. The "Flaming Phallus" will strike fear into the hearts of its enemies. The throb of its guns will inspire its brethren around it to double rate of fire and halve all cooldowns while enemies take 15% more damage.

Reply #20 from Sins Forums Top

Quoting R3DT1D3, reply 17
36 Kols, think about it.

LAME...there were over 100 Battlestars...as such, you should be able to have at least 100 Kols...also, they should not steal XP from eachother, otherwise you wouldn't even get to use their subpar abilities....

Reply #22 from Sins Forums Top

That's what I said when your mom took off her bra.

 

Oh, and it's Rebellion.

Reply #23 from Sins Forums Top

Sadly enough kol does need some love so this post is not entirely trol post.

k1  for star ........ Hilarious

Reply #24 from Sins Forums Top

Idea:

1:Go in particle forge.

2:take the nuke particle from bombing.

3:replace it with every particle in game.

4???

5:Get infinite karma and a titan thats invincible named after you.

Reply #25 from Sins Forums Top

Quoting Gameassassin1020, reply 24
Idea:

1:Go in particle forge.

2:take the nuke particle from bombing.

3:replace it with every particle in game.

4???

5:Get infinite karma and a titan thats invincible named after you.

Do you think you are funny?