I have been humiliated...

What's wrong with public displays of affection?

-- B

Expecially when it's just a hug.... I dont know.

Sam

Parents tend to worry and care more than a child would like. You should really try to understand that, since you may some day be put in the same situation if you have children. Being a parent myself and having already gone through this experience with a child before, you probably think you know all and have seen all but I am sure you have not. I do not know what the reason would have been for your mother to react this way to a hug, but before an adult acts this way to their child, there must be events that lead up to this reaction. Maybe you are the "irrational" one. You need to talk to her and find out why she would be so passionate for you to "Get away from him". Is he a trouble maker, drug dealer, married or a good person, there must be a reason for anybody, parent or friend to act this way. And by the way, you really have a foul mouth saying these things about your mother and obviously you are not handling this in a mature fashion. Being humiliated by a parent, I think you mean you were embarrassed, being humilitated goes way beyond what a parent would allow there child to endure. You need to look what happened and why. Then you should post what you feel, not this way.

I believe your mother was overreacting to the situation you describe. But she could be acting our of fear of what other physical activities are occruring besides hugging. Perhaps she got a bad reputation as a teen from kissing in public and she is fearful of you getting that type of rep. Sometimes parents don't know how to address their fears and so they act in ways you describe here.

I hate to say this Sam but I'm saying you're the irrational one here. You don't have any reason to talk about your mother like that. I don't care what she said, you shouldn't have reacted so negatively to her. Your mom, no matter how annoying she is, is your only mom and you should remember that when she does something like that next time. If she says to let go then let go and go give her a hug... she went just as far to the game as he did you know...

Capt. over and out!

Hmm.....Brandon has a point.....but I'd advise you to do some reverse psychology to her....if you "share the love" then maybe it'll short circuit her negative feelings.....and I do understand how pissed you would be, I would cuss my mom out....but that's just who I am....

Good luck,
~Zoo

Sam i don't know what to say i know you have help me in a time of need
don't get mad but brandon does have a point she is the only mother you have and you are her only daughter she is just looking out for the best for you
i know it might be to much but you are going to have to deal with it
you love Alex the way i think you do then you will get throught it and but i t behind you and show your affection to him in the presents of not your mother .
Don't let this get you so mad that your mom won't let you go any where because she thinks Alex might do something
ALex is a great guy and very sweet you are just going to have to face that your mother is very protective and wants to make sure nothing will happen to you
maybe you will get lucky and if you go along with her and show her that you can do this and nothing will happen she might just might let you go places with him..

I at least hope soo

Love your almost hope to be sister

HEHEHEHE tractor-chick

Also, I have another thing to say....don't make your mother be the enemy...try to understand her and the only way you can get through this so no one get hurt badly is to talk....I know it seems hard but keep trying to get through, just be calm, centered, and mature and just talk....it may take awhile but it is probably the best way to go about things....

~Zoo

Sam, I also agree with Brandon. But I feel I'm agreeing with him just because I know I have almost exactly the same problems with my mother as you do. I'm pretty sure that you already knew that I'm not "supposed" to date untill I'm 16. If my mom sees me talking to a guy when none of my other friends are around she automatically assumes that I'm going out with them. I've been trying to convince her for the longest time now that me and Brandon are not going out. But she just keeps on thinking that we are and I have no clue why. Basically she assumes this because she always sees me talking to him after we get done at football games and stuff. She's always on my case about how I'm not "supposed" to be dating guys yet. Trust me, my mom makes me just as mad as your mom does sometimes. But hey, you can't go around hating your mom. Like Brandon said, she's the only one you got. And maybe if you prove her wrong, she'll believe you. I've already proved my mom wrong on a couple of occasions. Just keep your head up! Things will get better! I'll be here if you need to talk!

~carebear~

I'll be here if you need to talk!

Me too....and Alex of course, Brandon too....in fact we probably all will be....

~Zoo

Somos toda la familia. (We are all family)

~Zoo

One more thing to add for me too. Don't think of what she's doing as punishment, but as a test. If she's telling you to stop doing stuff with him then let her believe you can. If you start doing more with her than maybe she'll let you do a bit more with alex. If she goes on any trips with the band this year maybe you could get her to be the chaperoine for your's and alex's group. Of course, you'd have to be in a group together. I just think she needs to see how alex treats you for more than just the couple of minutes after a game... what do you think?

I mean, alex, obviously isn't a bad guy. We just need to get your mom to notice that. Be creative, it will make this more fun too.

Take it from a guy who's very used to creativity, it's more fun.

Capt. over and out!

P.S.~ Yeah, shaun was right, I'm here too.

You guys dont understand my mother... I get YELLED at. It is never just a simple lecture. She has done this before... she destroyed the relationship i had with Alan because she walked up to him and basically told him to dump me. She was actually going to arrest Alan if we were still dating when he turned 18 (May 5th).

Now, since you guys think i am being "irrational", what would you do if you were in my situation? Would you let it go and dump the person you really care about to make her happy? Or would you fight back, and not let her ruin your life like she did before.

Most of you guys dont know what she drove me through last year. I was in a depression, and if you ever looked at my arms, you would know why i never want to be drove to that point again.

She hurts my feelings, she calls me names to my face. And maybe, if you poeple knew exactly how far over the edge i was... you could see that this senario is just happening again.

Sam

heh, really? wow, that would've been a fun story. "hey mom, you'll never believe where i'm calling from..."

Sam, one of us in here knows exactly what you're going through. Do you know who that person is?........ME. See, I do know exactly what you are going through. I go through pretty much the same things. Except for the part where you said that you mom calls you names. I've never heard my mom call my names or anything, so I don't know if that has been done. Trust me, I get yelled at too! A lot for that matter. I get yelled at for all of her assumptions that she makes, and which 90% of them aren't even true, but yet I still get yelled at. Yeah, I still do think you're being irrational in this case. Actually, I think maybe you both are.(you and your mom) You shouldn't call her names and she shouldn't call you names. I do know your situation, I've been there done that. But you just have to find ways around them. I know it's hard not to call your mom those bad and aweful names, but you have to try. And when you fight back, you don't have to use bad names or things. That just puts you in another situation ontop of the one you're already in. Just because I've never said really anything about things that go on between me and my mom, doesn't mean they don't happen.

I don't know why, but mostly I keep these things to myself. I try not to worry a whole lot. And I don't feel like having other people having to worry about me all the time. I've been in depression many times, this year and last year. So I know what it's like. I used to and still do go around hitting and punching things to relieve my anger, since I have a very high pain tollerence. Last year when me and Alex were going out it was so hard to keep it from my mom. I know it was wrong, but if she did find out I'd be in trouble. Well eventually she did find out somehow. I don't know how, but I have my assumptions on who might have said something to her. But that's besides the point. Anyways.....When my mom did find out. Oh man! Did she ever blow up. I got yelled at! I mean YELLED at A LOT! For one, she would've rather me have told her that I at least liked him. But I have learned to live with what my mom throws at me.

So when Brandon says it's more like a test rather than punishment, I think he's right. I think I've been put through a test, and now that I've learned to get along with it, my mom trusts me with guys more. Now I really don't think she cares that I like or have a boyfriend, but I just can't go on dates with them until I'm 16, or having them give me rides to places, unless they are of short distance. So I'm sure if you try to get along with the yelling, and other stuff, you'll do fine.

Ok, if this sounded mean, it wasn't meant to be that way at all. I'm just trying to help. I don't know if it did, but hey....you gotta give me credit for atleast trying to help. Chin up Sam! And yes, we are all family here. We're all here to help support each other, even Brandon. lol.

~carebear~

Hm....yelling, I know the feeling......I probably haven't experienced all that you have, Sam....but with my experiences so far....I can sympathize. It sounds horrible, I'm not sure what to do.....I can't understand how a person could be so cruel....to their own daughter....I assumed she had some bit of sanity but calling you names?.....No, that is not right at all.....I wish there is something I could do to help rectify this situation but sadly all I can do for now is offer advice, and I'm wearing thin.....the picture I'm getting is an irrational, psychotic, OVERprotective bitch.....I hate to say these things, but that appears to be the message I'm getting and I'm sure you're agreeing as you read this. I guess the only thing I can say now is you will have to take a stand.....somehow, just gather all the strength, courage, and brains you have and just go at it.....eventually, there will be a breakthrough....I'm not sure when, just don't give up. You and Alex are meant for eachother....I can see it when you two are together in your posture and in your eyes.....someday things will work out, don't lose hope.

~Zoo

That's exactly what I'm trying to say Shaun! You stole the words right out of my mouth! Yeah like I said, you nor your mother should call each other names. I think that all any of us can do is offer advice at this point.

~carebear~

DeeDee18266,
When my Daughter amusingly pointed this "article" out I was disappointed to find a young girl so angry with her own mother that I felt I needed to respond as I did before. Maybe my previous response was ignored completely or maybe you were able draw from it somehow. After returning to look at the other responses I finally remember what I hate about the Internet. You find that there is a lot of bad information floating around, stock information, statistics that are not accurate, and, of course, a bunch high school Dr. Phil's telling a friend what they should do. My advice is to be careful when you take advice from someone and everyone should be selective on the advice they give to someone else.

CaptainCornBread, Bravo, you have supportive response that makes a very good point addressing both parties. You must be older than the others.

Zoologist03 You can talk the talk but have you ever walked the walk? (you may be too young to be familiar with that statement ask your mom after you "cuss her out" since that is who you are) My guess is that you have never had the nerve to "take a stand" against your own mother and probably not against anyone, as you are suggesting to DeeDee18266. Your advice is what every parent, including your own, fears just because you are giving some bold advice but when the shit hits the fan I'm sure that you will be in front of your computer looking around the internet, playing a video game, or watching TV and not having a care in the world. You have no business giving this type of advice to anyone unless your are actually putting yourself in jeopardy also. Keep that in mind the next time you are going to open your mouth. If this advice back fires and things are worse for DeeDee are you going to step up and assume some of the responsibility when in reallity you will be the cause?

Carebear07, Make up your mind, first you agreed with CaptainCornBread's statement that you should not talk about your mother that way indicating that she is the only mother you have and implying respecting her, then you agreed with Zoologist03 that DeeDee needs to take a stand. Which is it? If this advice backfires and things are worse for DeeDee are you going to assume some of the responsibility?

DeeDee18266, Ask yourself one question before you follow anybody's advice, who will be the one that will pay the consequences if it backfires? Will it be CaptainCornBread, Zoologist03, Carebear07 or DeeDee18266. My guess would be that you will be on your own here, then everyone will be telling you what you should do next. Maybe you are so angry with your mom now, because you have been listening to advice from your internet friends, who really is not affected if their advice causes more problems for you.

My advice is to be careful when you take advice from someone and everyone should be selective on the advice they give to someone else. I do not think you are getting very good advice from Zoologist03, you may want to look elsewhere.

hope this helps in someway,
Angela

PWNED

My guess is that you have never had the nerve to "take a stand" against your own mother and probably not against anyone,

Sorry, Angela....that's where you would be wrong...I stand against people all the time...I'm not afraid of anyone and I'll voice my opinion. Also note that I didn't tell Sam to cuss out her mom....merely just a statement of what I would do. I would never tell anyone to purposely backtalk their own parent....next time read carefully and don't make assumptions until you get to know someone, okay?

~Zoo

next time read carefully and don't make assumptions until you get to know someone, okay?

You won't have much luck with that approach for people who won't even get a username They tend to be a mite cowardly (not all but most)

If this advice back fires and things are worse for DeeDee are you going to step up and assume some of the responsibility when in reallity you will be the cause?

Oh, and as for this little challenge....yes, I always assume responsibility....I don't abandon my friends.

~Zoo

you have been listening to advice from your internet friends

....ah, this just teaches you not to but in where you don't belong......WE ALL GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL!!!! WE SEE EACHOTHER ALMOST EVERYDAY!!! now that you know this, perhaps you'll change your mind because we know more than what is posted here....

~Zoo

Carebear07, Make up your mind, first you agreed with CaptainCornBread's statement that you should not talk about your mother that way indicating that she is the only mother you have and implying respecting her, then you agreed with Zoologist03 that DeeDee needs to take a stand. Which is it? If this advice backfires and things are worse for DeeDee are you going to assume some of the responsibility?

I do have my mind set straight. Yes, I did agree with Capt. You shouldn't call your mom bad things. But when I agreed with Zoo, when we said take a stand, I never stated to say anything bad to her mom when she does take that stand. I said to take a stand in a positive outlook. What kind of friend do you think I am? I'm not trying to send Sam in a bad way what so ever. I think you need to get things straight before you go assuming things.


~carebear~

....ah, this just teaches you not to but in where you don't belong......WE ALL GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL!!!! WE SEE EACHOTHER ALOMST EVERYDAY!!! now that you know this, perhaps you'll change your mind because we know more than what is posted here....

Ha! I totally agree!

~carebear~