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Chaos Manager

Join Date 06/2005

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Common Courtesy Part the First

Why Gentleman should be added to the list of endangered species

Reading a recent comment by MasonM, I realized something that's been tickling
the edges of my awareness for a while now. The gentleman is a dying breed.
I say they should be put on the endangered species list. I am just a plain spoken, Southern boy from north Alabama. I was raised to be
a gentleman. To me, a gentleman exemplifies the following:

Courtesy
Politeness
Respect for others
Respect for self
Respect for Authority
Humility
Gentleness

A gentleman is Courteous. This means that all females are assumed to be a lady,
until she proves otherwise. Now, this is not PC. Not by any stretch of the
imagination. How does one treat a lady? Open the door for her to enter a building.
Open her car door for her. Pull out her chair at the table so that she may be
seated. Stand when she enters the room. Treat her with gentleness and respect.
Defend her when someone says something derogatory or mean.

Are these easy to do? No. I've been slapped before because I dared to open a
door to a department store for one lady. I've been yelled at, cussed out, and
had more rude gestures sent in my direction than I care to count. To be honest,
though, a good amount of the yelling and gestures, and general rudeness, has
dissapated over the last several years.

Is it worth it? Yes. Lemme tell you a little story. It takes place in the
Philedelphia. Walking into the 30th Street Station in downtown Philly, I noticed
almost an older lady (late 50's to early 60's) assisting her mother (using a
walker) to enter the station. Well, in the time it took me to walk from the
corner of the where my coworker dropped me off, to the entrance, I noticed
almost a dozen people rush right past these ladies trying to get into the
station. Barely even noticed they were there. When I stopped and held the
door for them, the younger lady looked a little puzzled. When I rushed
past them to open the inner door for them and held it while they walked
through, the look on her face just became more puzzled. This elderly lady
and her mother were shocked that I actually stopped to assist them.

A gentleman is Polite. Please. Thank you. Yes, Sir. No, Ma'am. These are just some of the
outward signs of an internal caring about one's presentation to the outside world. Eh, I've held off on this long enough. It's time to let the first part into the world and let it sink or swim. More later. Cheerio!

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*poke*

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And like me you probably use "sir" and "maam".

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Yep. Seems that a part of the article's been chopped off. The part where I start on Politeness. And finish the story.

Hmmm... I'll have to fix that.

Sir, Maam, even to the point of making sure my children grow up using them.

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Yep. Seems that a part of the article's been chopped off. The part where I start on Politeness. And finish the story.

Hmmm... I'll have to fix that.

Sir, Maam, even to the point of making sure my children grow up using them.

Funny thing is that everyone calls me a "damn yankee". IMHO it's not about "where" you live but rather how you live and think. I mean after all is it "my" fault my mother didn't have enough god-given sense to go south of the Mason-Dixon line on that day? I live up north now (PA), but the best years of my life were down south. Virginia, Arkansas, and of course Tennessee.

I'm not really sure whether or not to stick Florida in there. Not sure if it's actually considered a "southern" state?

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I'm not sure if the rest of the country really wants to claim Florida. Or California, for that matter.

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I'm not sure if the rest of the country really wants to claim Florida. Or California, for that matter.

I really can't say one way or the other about Florida....my mother is living down there. On the gulf coast side, which is why I sweat "every" hurricane that comes in from the gulf. Actually pull MM from CA and let it float out to sea. Then let the navy have target practice.

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I miss gentlemanly things. I wish Ryan would open the car door for me sometimes. Not ALL the time...but just sometimes like when we're going out or something.

I'm a teacher, and I try to teacher manners. Isn't it silly that *I* have to do it? You'd think that parents would be teaching their kids to say "please" "thank you" "excuse me" and "I'm sorry" and "you're forgiven".

Some parents though...work really hard with their kids about how they should treat other people and people who are senior to them. When a young man in particular holds the door for me at school I make sure that that kid knows he's doing the right thing being a gentleman.

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Poke?

Ok, missed this the first time around!

But now you live in the land of gentlemen, and cads! Be a gentleman.

And Marcie, *Poke* him! He will awaken. Men are just forgetful!

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As a woman, I hold the door open for others when I have the opportunity. I am offended when I am juggling the kids and the keys and all that and anyone, man or woman, who has the ability to aid me by opening the door refuses to do so.

I think courtesy dictates that when you have the ability and opportunity to help someone or provide a small gesture of kindness, you do it.

My children say please and thank you. They are learning sir and ma'am. Our adult friends are referred to as Mr."first name" or Mrs."first name." We are trying to teach them to be mindful of ways that they can show care and respect for others. If common courtesy dies, it will not die with my family.

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See, TW, that's what I'm talking about. To thoroughly butcher a quote ... "Choose you this day whom you will serve. As for me and my house, we will serve others." If common courtesy and gentleman are to die out, I will be the last man standing on those ramparts, fighting to the very end.

And, thankfully, my children are showing signs of it actually sinking into their skulls. Slowly, but the signs are there.

Cheers!

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C. Manager:
I was brought up to be a lady. I was taught to say please and thank you, to stand up when an elder enters the room, to give
up my seat on the bus to an elder, I was taught to wait until others have gone through the line for buffet at church and other
places. I was taught to open doors for my elders, and to help those in need.
What I wasn't taught was how to defend myself against rudeness, and abuse. I think it's important to install in our children,
through our behavior, how to live and love, and also how to protect and love ourself.
ya.

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We may be a bread on the edge of exile, but we are going out with style!

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