So where TF did mine go, then?  Ah, maybe the spammers drove Jafo to borrow it?

Well if that's the case I'm not coming to your establishment, then.  A strait jacket lets me feel all cosy and gives me a sense of security while in the throes of madness. 

At last, Fuzzy admits he has a drinking problem.  Mind you, it's not easy to pick up a pint in your teeth and not fall over backwards while draining the glass.  That's the peril of going to the pub in a strait jacket, I guess.

Indeed I do - I spill most of it

That's what they make dribble pads for

Well I suggest you take off your strait jacket before going to the pub.... and a large funnel would help to catch any spillage from the sides of your mouth.... those large pint glasses are notorious for that.  It may look a bit peculiar to other patrons, but after all it is about saving money.

Best thing for it....that luke-warm cat's piss called English Beer...;)

Um, not necessarily.  There are some English beers that go down a treat when properly chilled.

I occasionally will get a 4-pack of Boddngton's or Worth's or John Bull, whatever's on special... sometimes Kilkenny, a nice Irish drop, for a treat.

In any event, I still dilute it with a bit of lemonade and make a shandy.

Besides there's a few Oz beers that closely resemble cat's piss... VB and Fosters being 2 of them

My beer is nice and cool thankyou.

Unlike that half frozen sheep dip served down under, though I suppose it does have quite good antiseptic properties...

My issue with English beer is the real need to stick ice in it to make it palatable....

....actually increases its strength too....;p