Random threats of insane violence and death.

If all do not surrender to the Galactic Empire of Ultimate Universal Might, and praise me as the ruler of all that exists and will ever exist, you will be granted ahhhh... lovely gift package.  

Things included in gift package:
1)Governship of a few low class planets, maybe if your loyalty is true, then I will grant you a few ships as well.  
2)Mandatory social income tax increase laws upon the individual swearing fielty.
3)The power and support of TGE and the GE.
4)Being part of the dark side, or the cool side. You have to try it!!!  
5)a small, really tiny micor ship that will be placed in your brain to insure that you ar schocked every single time i feel you need it   

The Umbra Latrocinium organization carefully considers the offer up until to the point
they notice the last point. Umbra Latrocinium sends its acceptation of the treaty.

(Behind the scenes)
- Captain Renault reporting Sir.
- Send our responce to TGE.
- And what our responce might be Sir?
- Accept of course, that'll fool them long enough.
- For what?
- For us to relocate our base to a more safe place, after all they know where we are
"now".
- I see Sir. I'll tell the Captains Board to start emergency relocation immetiadly.


(off to sleep its 04:59 here now see you tomorrow, or today hmm confusing aint it)

Your acceptance is appreciated.  
Now did i forget to mention that if you do anything that is actually considered a threat that the microchip implanted in your head will explode . And any attempted removal, and it will also explode.

Sniff... I am so proud of my creation

Your first resources and orders will be given shortly.

As to the new decrees.

First Decree: Any planet not in the Empire by *date depending on mood* will be targeted by our many operational battle stations.

Second Decree: All people found with confiscated sandwitches from the Imperial Sandwitch and Tea Storage Facility will be executed by listening to Vogon poetry.

Thank you that is all

The Chuck dislikes you.

(Behind the scenes)
- What is it Captain Renault?
- Sir the courier sent by TGE is now eliminated, along with his microchips,
cant imagine why they thought you'd let em put a microexplosives into our brains?
- Hehe, wonder if the emperor still thinks we "accepted", we'll see how long it takes
for him to realize his liaison isnt coming back.
- Oh yeah about that, the relocation is now fully complete and we are ready for
operations.
- Hmm.. wonder should we just assassinate some cabinet level officials or just drop
a 60megaton thermonuclear warhead over their capital?

...

you know, the United States-Peoples Republic of China coalition frowns on infighting in the far reaches of our Imperial-Republic space.
but meh, its like africa was so long ago. We'll let you crazy loons duke it out. and laugh. real hard (fill our wallets to)

Ahh yes, my courrier, he was quite pesky... I thank for his elminations

And as for your new location, quite nice... but it wont be as soon as my Deat Ball gets there.

What happens in Imperial space is none of your bussiness...

As for the infighting, nothing poses to me as a threat for now.

And as for your puny allinace, it shall be taken care of a soon as I waste more money on this new sandwitch and tea enhancer.

you seem to misunderstand.
your puny "empire" exists on the outer .02% fringes of our inter-galactic Republic.
you exist by our graces (and by the fact we need some reality TV, interplanetary war anyone?)

.02% your esstimates are off Earthling. These are just our new colonies. We rule much of the sorounding galaxies. This is just are expeditionary force.

As soon as the main fleet arrives, YOUR fleets will stand no match.

well, you would think that.
except that we expand beyond the visible universe. funny how you didnt pick us up.

right now we're expanding into other dimensions, so I wouldnt recommend fighting us. we could easily pull your planets into a seperate time space loop.


we dont battle with fleets. timespace is a more than powerful enough ally.

Your only STARTING to expand into other dimensions.

Wow, your quite behind. Even the goo-sucking Squalcolars of Planet Blah have been able to do that, and their one of the stupidest races in the known dimmensions.

By the way, if you would like to by a map of the current dimmensions your trying to explore visit TGErules.com.

I'm sorry mister "we have a few galaxies"
we've mapped your whole territory, you've expanded into all of 3 interdimensions. we currently have free reign on over 48, additionally we have a wide diversity of dimensions each providing very interesting laws of physics where yours are all highly simplified.
I'm sorry you misinterpretted "start to". I meant we are just starting to move outwards after having fully harnessed their power. now dont make me blow up a nice white hole next to your flag ship
better yet I'll just put it in time reversal. easy flick of a finger.

lordkosc's pirate fleet, of the Pirate coalition "OMG pirates", attacks the trade fleets of Schematicsninja, stealing all his resources for the day...

As the trade vessels are are boarded and looted, the crews scream "OMG PIRATES" are on the ship....

Its like watching two midgets having a pissing contest with umbro garcfully stepping out as Schem and Emp begin to meassure how far their scrotums strech inside the thimble.

I just had a mental image that I will never want to see again...

Lharrs , after all your great posts on the other threads in this forum , I will forever imagine you saying what you said above..... Shocked.... just shocked....

Indeed, it is a my honor to shock and suprise you all from time to time. It means I am not getting old.... At least I hope it does


I would also like to point out, that even though I did say what I said, it doesn't make my statement any less factual.

OMG pirates. seperated to another, dead galaxy

lharrs, placed in a spacetime continuoum jail where he shall produce genius ideas for me, but shall never be free!!!

United States-Peoples Republic of China coalition.

I suppose i'm in this one, since I was born in the United States.

good Servius. Democracy is worth preserving!
*imbues Vivo with the power of "the force"*

(Soon not so behind the scenes)
- Captain Renault are the preparations complete?
- Yes Sir theyre just waiting for your go.
- Good they'll all know better next time than to piss in my cup.
...

TGE Capital - the day after

(Astro control center of TGE defence force)
- Morning commander anything of intrest happen during the night?
- No Sir nothing except a weird hyper disturbance at 03:00.
- Disturbance? care to be specific?
- Well sir it looked just like a hyper print of an Andromeda class cruiser but there
was nothing, we sent a squadron to check it?
...

TGE Capital - few hours later
- Holy shit.. battlestations all hands battlestations!
- Talk to me commander.
- It sure was an Andromeda CA, they just launched two 20megaton thermonuclear
warheads above the capital!
...

Umbra Latrocinium HQ - sector not in any records
- Sir the attacks on the Empire were a partial success, they managed to shoot the
nuke down before it reached critical mass. And another thing sir. Captain Gardner
and his crew hasnt reported back.
- Well just have to assume hes KIA, well hes worth the sacrifice, TGE's bureucratic
government will spend months trying to recover from this.
- And the republican OP sir?
- We'll hold that one for a moment, maybe they'll answer our business offers with
other than threats of subjugation.
- Alright sir, gerard also informed me the whole asteroid group is now a "black" zone
no emissions after half a lightyear...

And Umbra returns to the group with an eye tweezer holding some wrinkled skin between his legs where an apendage should be and a microscope focused in on the area held by the tweevers, nothing remarkable can be seen.

Lharrs, you are the random narrator to our world.
the big yellow letters that dissapear off into space
the cheezy old man who tells the story from an old, crumbling book.
and we thank you.

I want to be the guy who spams words like "Shazzam!" and "PUNCH!" across the screen when ever someone gets hit.

The Grand Imperrium does not have time for democracy or beruacracy, we will find you Umbra!!!

As for your bragging Schem, it amuses me so for now I will let your interdimensional Empire live. Umbra posses a greater threat currently, as his forces have actually attempted to do something.

As for Lharrs, we welcome your comments, and your neutrality will not be shifted. As for your imprisonment in Schems cells, that should not last long.

New Imperial Decree:
Pirates are no longer to be hunted, they will be allowed the 3 and 5 dimmension to rule without any direct Imperial interferance. And all pirate ships will be given an Imperial Letter of the Mark allowing them to plunder all ships not under our direct jurisdiction.