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Quotes: Funny, favorite or your favorite funny ones

Quotes: Funny, favorite or your favorite funny ones

Place your favorite quotes here whether it be from Sins of a Solar Empire or a person or just something you heard. then let others say there opinion about them

 

Remember to say where it came form if you know.

And please lets keep this from getting locked, no raciest quotes or comments, lets just have fun with it.

169,431 views 53 replies
Reply #26 Top

Another from Tremors...

Earl Bassett: Damn it Valentine, you never plan ahead, you never take the long view, I mean here it is Monday and I'm already thinking of Wednesday... It is Monday right?

Reply #27 Top

"Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did, and it never will. Find out just what people will submit to, and you have found out the exact amount of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them; and these will continue till they have resisted with either words or blows, or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they suppress."
~ Frederick Douglas ~

 

"The right of revolution is an inherent one. When people are oppressed by their government, it is a natural right they enjoy to relieve themselves of the oppression, if they are strong enough, whether by withdrawal from it, or by overthrowing it and substituting a government more acceptable."
~ Ulysses S. Grant - "Personal Memoirs" (1885) ~

Reply #28 Top

Help! Help! I'm being repressed....

Reply #29 Top

XD Here...have few of these. :beer:

Reply #30 Top

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. 

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.  :lol:

Reply #31 Top

Quoting IROKONESS, reply 21
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

:lol:   I'll pay that one...

 

"This valley is just one long smorgasboard"....whichever Tremor one that was... they all ran into each other for me...

 

Ballerinas are always on their toes...why don't they just get taller ballerinas......    (my favourite Steven Wright saying)

Curiosity killed the cat.... but for awhile I was a suspect......   (another)  (in fact,  all of them...)

Reply #32 Top

You should have seen me play football (soccer) on the airplane.  I was running up the wing... - Tim Vine

Reply #33 Top

Quoting Jafo, reply 28


Help! Help! I'm being repressed....

When I was young I thought that scene was hilarious. But now that I am older, and more educated, it is ten times as fun. When I was young, it was just "fun" because they ran into some hippie anarchist. Now I see how they placed a very progressive way of thinking into a medieval setting just so they could have a "debate" between the systems. Plus it just clashes so severely with the whole chivalry setting with knights and kings that are supposed to be the heroes (but are actually just bullies). Certainly, if Arthur started riding around beating up people today he'd be in jail by sundown.

Reply #34 Top

Quoting Heavenfall, reply 34
Certainly, if Arthur started riding around beating up people today he'd be in jail by sundown.

Privilege is not gone, we have simply redefined who gets it. But at least now we have a mock trial that takes up some of the assailant's time.

 

 

"Ignorance is bliss to the ignorant and torture to the learnéd" -Alexander Pope

Reply #35 Top

A few from Aliens:-

Bishop: ...I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid.

Hudson: Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?
Vasquez: No. Have you?

Hudson: That's great, this is really fuckin' great, man. Now, what the fuck are we supposed to do? We're in some pretty shit now, man.
Hicks: Are you finished?
Newt: Guess we're not gonna make it, are we?
Ripley: I'm sorry, Newt.
Newt: Don't be sorry, it wasn't your fault.
Hudson: That's it, man. Game over, man. Game over, what the fuck are we supposed to now, huh, what are we gonna do?
Burke: Maybe we can build a fire, sing a couple of songs, huh, how about we try that.
Newt: We gotta get inside. It's gonna be dark soon, and they mostly hunt at night. Mostly.

Hudson: Maybe we got 'em demoralized.

Reply #36 Top

"I'm thinking she's a virgin - or at least she used to be"

Reply #37 Top

"I! BRING! PANDA-MONIUM!"

Warcraft 3 Frozen Throne.

-Twi

Reply #38 Top

 "The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Percy?"- Insult directed at Lord Percy by Edmund Blackadder.

 

"It takes many, many atrocities to kindle the fury of our ever unmoving Mother Earth. I commend you on having crossed even that line. Now pay for it." – Two Steps From Hell

 

"When in a perfect state of neutrality, one can sit back and admire the infinite simplicities and complexities of life and all that happens around them." - Me

Reply #39 Top

Quoting Bloodvest, reply 38
"The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Percy?"- Insult directed at Lord Percy by Edmund Blackadder.

I met "Edmund Blackadder" one year at the Adelaide F1 Grandprix.  He came up to me [because I looked intelligent and capable] and asked "which way back to the pits?"....I told him....and then everyone on the point came up to me to ask "who was that?" to which I replied..."Rowan Atkinson....his nose isn't as big in real life..."...;)

Reply #40 Top

John Adams

Facts are stubborn things....and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.

There are two ways to conquer and enslave a country. One is by the sword. The other is by debt.

 

Lone Watie

We thought about it for a long time, "Endeavor to persevere." And when we had thought about it long enough, we declared war on the Union.

Reply #41 Top

You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits!

 

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

Reply #42 Top

Quoting Jafo, reply 40
I met "Edmund Blackadder" one year at the Adelaide F1 Grandprix.

 

Lucky you I heard he likes those kinds of things!

Reply #44 Top

Jack Nicholson in The Bucket List:

 

Never miss a chance to go to the bathroom.

Never waste a hard on.

Never trust a fart.

 

Reply #45 Top

I don't have a drinking problem!   I drink ,I get drunk, I fall down where is the problem!

Reply #46 Top

S**t happens! Forest Gump

Reply #47 Top

 “I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.” Emo Philips

 

“I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.” W. C. Fields

Reply #48 Top

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Reply #49 Top

"Set a course.  There's coffee in that nebula."  -Star Trek Voyager

-Twi /)

Reply #50 Top

Quoting Lantec, reply 41
Facts are stubborn things....and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.

 

Obviously he never thought about mass media. I don't like being ruled by facts. What is important is that the information I get sounds true to me.