1 36 oz bottle of Ketchup (store brand will do)
3/4 C white vinegar*
1/4 C cider vinegar*
1/2 C water*
1/4 C molasses
1/4 C brown sugar
1 Tablespoon each of:
Onion powder, garlic powder, black pepper, chili powder, paprika (Hungarian is best), freeze-dried decaf coffee.
1 Teaspoon dried mustard, or a decent squirt of regular mustard.
1/8 to 1/4 Teaspoon of Mace (NOT the self-defence variety. Use the kind that comes from the spice section of the supermarket. Jeeez....).
*If you want a Carribean feel, add 1 Tablespoon of Thyme and 1 Teaspoon each of allspice, cinnamon, nutmeg, and ground red pepper. Substitute orange juice for the vinegar and water.
Whisk the mixture real good, then simmer over low heat for a couple of hours. Stir FREQUENTLY!