Samgyeopsal Rules

One of the great things about Asia, as opposed to Europe, is the different attitude toward food here in the Orient. Back home on the western side of our immense landmass, eating out is a very occasional pleasure for all but the wealthy. To go to a restaurant one must have a reason: a date, a birthday, a celebration of some kind.

Eating out is expensive, so it's expected that you dress up for the occasion (which, for some of us means putting on clothes which do not have holes). Each diner receives their own meal and drink but, if they're feeling really adventurous, they may ask their dining companions if they "want to try some of mine." All this is not to my taste (pun, well and truly intended).

By contrast, over on the Pacific side of the house, dining with others is a much more relaxed, much more frequent affiar. I eat out at least once a week and I never feel the need to change out of my mangy clothes before doing so. Within a 500 yard radius of where I sit typing this, there are literally dozens of eateries from Western-style chicken places to galbi, an jang sal, shabu shabu, seafood and, my favourite, samgyeopsal.

Most of all though, eating in Korea is a communal event, where each of us shares the food and drink. The only dish which is truly yours is the bowl of rice, the blank canvas on which you work.

Allow me to explain the typical samgyeopsal experience. You remove your shoes at the door and sit down on cushions aroud a low table. In the middle is a gas hot plate (sometimes charcoal and a grill). Strips of pork are brought out and fried up by none other than you yourselves.

Shortly after the first sizzle of pig fat, a member of the waiting staff will arrive with a veritable rainbow of side dishes, known as pan chan, anything up to a dozen: kimchi, beansprouts, onion, sweet potato and leaves. Pan chan can be refilled as often as you like at no extra cost.

Within minutes, when the first meat is ready, you cut it up, dip it in some hot sauce, place it in a leaf and add pan chan as you see fit. Then roll it all up and stick in in your mouth. It's sometimes messy, but always delicious. Washed down with a few beers or a bottle or two of soju, this will set you back about six quid. You will not go home hungry.

For me samgyeopsal is one of the many delights of life on the peninsula, but I find that my meal can sometimes be marred if my foreign eating companions are not familiar with my dining dos and don'ts. These are a mixture of Korean etiquette, common courtesy and my many, many foibles.

So here they are then, my samgyeopsal rules:

Korean Etiquette

1. Never spear your chopsticks into your rice when you're not using them. This is how food is presented to ancestors, and thus considered bad luck among those of us who are still living.

2. Passing of any object is done with both hands, as this indicates respect.

3. Never pour your own drink. Pour for everyone else, then present the bottle to someone to pour for you. During the liquid-to-glass process, the pourer should have their free hand on their opposite shoulder or ribs. The pouree should adopt a similar stance while holding their cup. Never pour into an unheld cup.

Language

1. When asking for pan chan refills, you are never to speak in English. If you don't know the Korean word for the food that you've just scoffed, then simply hold up the empty dish to a member of staff and do your best Oliver Twist impression.

2. If you are dining in "mixed" company, you are not to treat your Korean fellow diners as a free translation service. As in: "Could you get me some more kimchi, please?" Enquiring how to ask for something and then asking for it yourself is perfectly acceptable.

3. Toasts are never to be made in English because that's just boring. Some suggestions: "Hazontate" (Afrikaans), "Slainte" (Irish) or "Gam bei" (Chinese). If you can toast in the style of a Taiwanese day market stall-holder, you are a person of exceptional calibre.

Conversation

1. Shop-talk is allowed only in the five minute window between the arrival of the meat and the beginning of its consumption. After that, I don't want to hear any more talk about how your boss is a bitch or how little Jimmy in your 3 o'clock class won't sit down and be quiet. I can only feign interest for so long.

2. If, as sometimes happens, a customer from another table comes over and starts chatting to you, either through intellectual curiosity or a desire to practice their English, then you are to engage them in conversation. Yes, even if this means interrupting another fascinating Little Jimmy anecdote.

3. Speaking of anecdotes, all tales about Moshe Dayan (a great man, but not a good man) are to be received in a rapt and respectful silence.

4. Conversation topics in the "I hate Korea" and "All Koreans are stupid" genre are verboten. If you break this rule, I reserve the right to initaite a conversation in the "Well, why don't you fuck off back home then?" genre.

Pan Chan

1. Kimchi and beansprouts are to be kept within my reach at all times.

2. Feel free to eat all the tofu you want.

3. In the unlikely event that a seafood side dish is brought out, it is to be kept out of range of my nostrils.

The Waiting Staff

1. At least one person at the table should say "gamsa hamnida" ("thank you") each and every time a member of the waiting staff performs a service. This includes bringing out food and drink, refilling pan chan and helping the stupid foreigners to cook the meat properly. In the course of an hour long meal, this may mean anything up to twenty thank-yous. Suck it up, it's called maners.

2. Yelling "yogi yo" ("over here please") when you want a member of staff's attention is perfectly acceptable, as this is the Korean custom. Adding finger-ckicking sound effects to reinforce the point is not.

Seating

1. You are sitting on the floor, get used to it. If your legs are hurting from adopting this unfamiliar position, the correct procedure is to stand up for a moment or two. The incorrect procedure is to stay seated and whinge about how stupid Korea is beacuse you have to sit on the floor and how you went to Outback Steakhouse in Seoul last week and it was wonderful beacuse you got to sit on a proper chair and there was none of that horrible kimchi, and it was just like being back home and AGH!

The Bill

1. We go Dutch. There are two exceptions. If it's a special occasion (your birthday or leaving do) then you don't have to pay. Non-drinkers are not expected to chip in for the booze. Apart from that, we split the bill evenly. I don't want to hear any: "Well X ate more than me, so he should pay more", as X is invariably me

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Awesome Rules! I think you and I would have a great Samgyeopsal dinner! Although, I prefer dalk-kalbi over samgyeopsal, myself. Similar rules apply, though.

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Yeah, similar rules for all the meat on a leaf meals I think.

One thing I would be interested in knowing, chiprj, is how you perceive the behaviour of your fellow US troops in Korea. I'm curious as to whether or not US troops are interested in the Korean language and culture and whether they are courteous to Korean people.

The reason I ask is because I find the attitude of many in my social group (English teachers) to be quite appalling - Joeusers excepted obviously

In general, English teachers in Seoul make very little effort to learn the language or understand the culture. Far too many are, quite frankly, racist in the way that they belittle this country and markedly ungrateful for the opportunities which this country has provided for them.

I should explain that English teachers tend to be graduates from the arts (I think Americans call this "liberal humanities"). In short, we lack "marketable" skills back home. But, purely based on having the right passport, we can enjoy a very good standard of living out here in Korea. I dread to think when I will next have as much disposable income as I have right now - perhaps never. Given all this, I am extremely grateful for this opportunity to save money for my future.

I'm not presenting myself as a paragon of virtue. My Korean is shamefully limited but it is superior to nearly everyone else's. Just one example. I was at a bar with four other wae-gug-in a few months ago. All of us had at least three months "in country" but when the menu came, I was the only one who could read it.

Not learning Hangeul seems ludicrous to me, it is so simple and makes your life so much easier. Yet many English teachers never bother learning it. Extraordinary.

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Sorry it took so long to answer this.

Many soldiers go to Korea without their family for a year. This doesn't exactly start them off on the right foot. Another problem is that often the soldiers is under 21 and this is their first time away from home, let alone another country. They get drawn into the local bar/shopping district because the language barrier is less there and they can get drinks without being ID'd. This becomes a very difficult cycle to break out of. All of this lends itself to an attitude of ignorance of what the real Korea is like.

I think that the US Forces Korea (overall command of the troops there) is constantly pushing for the service members to learn something about Korea other than the price of beer in every club out in town. Every year they are a little more successful and troops get the oppurtunities to do more around the country and actually learn about the land, people, culture, history, and even language. One of the base service offices has packets that contain maps and detailed instructions on how to get out to many of the historical or touristy paces in Korea. The packets will even have instructions written in Korean so when you get into a cab, you just show the driver a line on the paper and *poof* the language barrier is overcome. They also run basic Korean classes for free at the community service center.

In Pyoungtaek, we had a program where soldiers would go to an orphanage once a month and do odd jobs to help out and to also just spend time with the kids there. I never went because I wasn't sure I'd be strong enough.

It comes down to individuals, though, and the soldier has to find a motivation to go beyond their comfort zone. Many don't find it, unfortunately.

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