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kimk546
kimk546
Join Date 05/2001
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Big Girls Don't Cry

June 9, 2004 1:33:01 PM from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Recently, a friend of mine a story about a run in she had with her land lord (at the time). At one point she said, "and I'm a girl, so of course, when I get mad, I start to cry," as a point of frustration.

I get it, I totally get it. I don't think I'm a big milquetoast, and my friend certainly isn't. Most people wouldn't categorize me as an emotional person. But when we get very mad, the tears well up, and when we went to speak sternly, our voice comes out shakey.

Why is this? Is this common all other women? I don't think it's a tool. If it is, I haven't learned how to use it. I'm not so manipulative. Anyone have any input?
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kimk546
Novena
Join Date 05/2004
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Reply #1 June 9, 2004 1:45:14 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
It just might be a women thing, I too have the same problem; I get really upset about something and cry and pretty soon I can't speak. I thought It was just me, but now I feel better.
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kimk546
greywar
Join Date 05/2003
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Reply #2 June 9, 2004 1:48:10 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
It is most definately a woman thing. While there are some men who cry under duress most of us tend to feel pressured to take action (good or bad) instead. Bonus points for working milktoast into an article:)
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kimk546
kimk546
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Reply #3 June 9, 2004 2:41:19 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
(extra bonus points for going back and correcting my spelling (milquetoast)!?)

Novena: I'm glad you can relate. My brain might be full of fight, but it gets stuck in there.
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kimk546
MasonM
Join Date 01/2004
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Reply #4 June 9, 2004 3:08:06 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Women are, by nature, more emotional than men. That is a generalization of course, but on average is true.

I have seen men who cry when they are very angry, but of course the rest of us guys usually make fun of them. Not saying it's right, just a guy thing.

Women cry and/or throw things (like my ex)

Men get quiet and/or strike out with their fists. Just our natures. The madder I get, the quieter I get. When I stop talking, I'm ready to pound the snot outta somebody.
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kimk546
mikimouse
Join Date 03/2004
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Reply #5 June 9, 2004 3:23:14 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
my wife cries unexpectantly easy at times. Makes me uncomfortable.
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kimk546
MasonM
Join Date 01/2004
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Reply #6 June 9, 2004 3:28:38 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Makes all us guys uncomfortable miki. I still think that's why they do it


Just kidding ladies, don't hang me by my, ummmmm, never mind.
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kimk546
kimk546
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Reply #7 June 10, 2004 10:33:33 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Yea, keep it up Mason. You'll find out what uncomfortable is

I would agree that women steriotypically express more emotion than men. I would not go so far as to say that they are more emotional than men. Most of the men I know feel emotions very strongly, but as you all have said, they're more inclined to keep it inside.

Surely it's more healthy to express your emotions, but I guess what I'm looking for is more control over how and when I express my anger.
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kimk546
Coocoo_bean
Join Date 06/2004
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Reply #8 June 10, 2004 10:54:51 AM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Hmmm.. for me tears are a bit of a weapon... dare I admit it? I am conscious they can work to my advantage - by getting some sympathy and a swift end to an argument. I generally cry out of frustration but can pretend otherwise...... hehehehe.
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kimk546
Kayles
Join Date 06/2004
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Reply #9 June 11, 2004 2:45:51 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
It happened to me just last night! I was at this very important meeting. My parents' were there and this woman in our church starts to publicly accuse my dad of something that he was totally innocent of. By the way, I am a grown woman with children of my own. The thought of my own father being publicly "wronged" was just too much for me. First I started shaking. Then, I started pacing on the outside of the room. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer and spoke up, only, my voice cracked and I started crying and couldn't get what I wanted to say out! (Not eloquently, anyway!) My emotions got the better of me. Everyone says that when you are dealing with a hard situation such as this, you should leave emotions out of it. How does one do this, I'd like to know?
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kimk546
Kayles
Join Date 06/2004
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Reply #10 June 11, 2004 2:46:02 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
It happened to me just last night! I was at this very important meeting. My parents' were there and this woman in our church starts to publicly accuse my dad of something that he was totally innocent of. By the way, I am a grown woman with children of my own. The thought of my own father being publicly "wronged" was just too much for me. First I started shaking. Then, I started pacing on the outside of the room. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer and spoke up, only, my voice cracked and I started crying and couldn't get what I wanted to say out! (Not eloquently, anyway!) My emotions got the better of me. Everyone says that when you are dealing with a hard situation such as this, you should leave emotions out of it. How does one do this, I'd like to know?
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kimk546
kimk546
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Reply #11 June 11, 2004 2:54:26 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Coocoo bean: you use your tears as a weapon (giving woman a bad name, by the way), but do they ever work against you instead of for you? Or do you have complete control over when you cry?

Kayles: Thanks for sharing. That's exactly what I'm talking about it, and it's darn frustrating! You want to speak your mind and defend (whatever it is that's gotten your gander up), but instead you end up feeling like an idiot. Then, if you're like me, you obsess later over what you would have liked to have said. I hope you get the chance later to tell this woman what you wanted to say last night.
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kimk546
MasonM
Join Date 01/2004
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Reply #12 June 11, 2004 3:08:33 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
How does one do this, I'd like to know?


For men (in general) it's really not that hard. I think we're just wired that wasy, and years of practice at not demonstrating emotion helps.

I would not go so far as to say that they are more emotional than men


Sorry, I didn't state that correctly. What I meant was exactly what you said, that women show their emotions more. I didn't mean to imply that men don't feel them. We just aren't really comfortable showing them.
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kimk546
dharmagrl
Join Date 02/2004
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Reply #13 June 11, 2004 3:27:40 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums

I'm a girl, and I don't cry when I get mad.  I get loud, assertive, and if I'm really pissed I'll cuss. 


I cry when I'm hurt, I cry when I'm sad, I cry because I have hormones that are going crazy...but I don't cry when I'm mad.

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kimk546
Kayles
Join Date 06/2004
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Reply #14 June 11, 2004 3:27:43 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums


For men (in general) it's really not that hard. I think we're just wired that wasy, and years of practice at not demonstrating emotion helps.



Do you think you're afraid of feelings?


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kimk546
MasonM
Join Date 01/2004
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Reply #15 June 11, 2004 3:45:21 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Do you think you're afraid of feelings? [/quote}

Nope, but as a kid you're afraid of getting beat up because of them
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kimk546
Kayles
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Reply #16 June 11, 2004 4:32:57 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
I feel so sorry for my son!
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kimk546
MasonM
Join Date 01/2004
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Reply #17 June 11, 2004 4:40:22 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Awww don't feel sorry for him Kayles. It'll prepare him for the real world.

Just kidding anyway.
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kimk546
Kayles
Join Date 06/2004
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Reply #18 June 11, 2004 4:47:03 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
You mean there's a real world beyond this?
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kimk546
MasonM
Join Date 01/2004
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Reply #19 June 11, 2004 6:35:21 PM
from JoeUser ForumsJoeUser Forums
Not really, but it's a nice thought
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