What you are saying is absolutely wrong. True during your games, that I am sure of, but this isn't a general attitude the AI has.
In all games I played, I was the player with the highest population, the most number of colonies, and had an economic rating superior to 100 (and usually as well, a tech rating well close to 100). And I was close to be the most productive.
And the computer-played races did threaten me a lot, request money and techs for me in exchange for them not to eradicate me. The only ones that did not threaten were those already busy in other wars or most of all, with no neighborhood with me or close-aligned with me, or those really not powerful enough.
Remember other things are factors to their agressivity:
¤ the potential threat you are to THEIR power (that is, do you have cultural influence on their worlds, common frontiers with them, are you already in a war (and so an easy prey), do you counterbalance an opponent they have in common with you...)... if you do not have cultural influence on their territory, they really tend to forget you, they have some other business
¤ the alignment you are leaning to...
¤ and so on
Having no military ship IS a great agressivity factor regarding the AIs, they do not leave me at peace for so long... in 4 games they always declared war on me because of that, and 2 to 3 AIs together most of the time. I always wondered why they were still sending ships after me while seeing their fleets being turned to pieces one by one, but well, as long as do not have enough ships, you do not have respect from them...
Side note: When an AI says "your 'potential' military power is just as it is, potential" it means that you do have absolutely no military power and they are laughing at it. It is some Yor Collective joke I believe
I still wonder how you escaped being declared war upon.