Hey you old codger, 'bout time ya got yer arse back here.
It is good to see you again, not that I missed you or anything. I mean, couldn't go getting all sentimental and admit something like that, could I.
However, I did ask in another thread if anybody knew of your whereabouts and if you were okay.... not that anybody knew anything for sure.
S'pose the best thing about that is news didn't arrive that you were pushing up daisies. Frankly, they can do without your assistance for some while yet.
As for this living in the fast lane at a slow pace, I couldn't imagine you any other way. If the woman across the street stripped off and yelled out "come and get it", the old one-legged bloke from two blocks down 'd get there before you did.
Never mind, she wasn't your kinda gal anyhow. The old one-legged bloke reckons she ate KFC throughout the entire perfomance and squealed like a stuck pig when she got her... you know, when she got there. So with your delicate sensibilities, not to mention your back, it's probably best you were in the slow lane and broke down that night.
You see, there are advantages to crossing into the slow lane... you got a better chance of avoiding head on collisions like that one and getting KFC dipping sauce all over yer stick shift.
Nah, the fast lane is fer young uns... and silly old farts who inadvertantly step on the grandkid's skateboard at the bottom of the front steps. It's not funny, you know. One old grandpa got clocked doing 90 in a 60 zone and was across the state line by the time he managed to pull up. Fechen skateboards, they're a menace to society.
Anyhow, I'm off the get a bit o' kip, and while I'm peeling off a few zzzzzzz;s - don't say snoring or I'll be most displeased - perhaps you could write a few lines and tell us what you've been up to in your prolonged absence... and don't say you stripped off so the woman across the street came to you. That would be too much information and I dunno if I could bear it. I try the same thing with a woman across my street and she falls down in fits of laughter and can't get up again.