It seems that you are being completely unreasonable.
Consider:
#1) Stars are already many times bigger then the planets. Turn on the gridding and zoom in. You'll see that a Star is much bigger then a single square already, while the largest of planets are still only about 50% of a square.
So, stars are 'significantly' (tell at a glance) bigger then their worlds. Enough to show they are a big thing (a star), without wasting too much screen on. Besides, stars are already 2cm on my screen when I am completely zoomed in. How much bigger should they be? 1 meter? 10?

Things don't scale at the same rate as you zoom out. That's done to help the players recognize that there is an object there.
Think about this as well: If StarDock were to make stars bigger to make you happy, what should they do when the next guy comes along and wants stars to be 2 feet big on the display? You know, that still isn't to scale, but it does give a much better "epic" feeling.
#2) I think 5 worlds is already too much. And you want to double that to 10 or more? Realistically speaking, just the Earth system should have about 10,000 sized PQ 0 worlds. There's a few hundred of icy earths orbitting our star out in the Kuiper and Oort regions (at our best astronomical guess). There's thousands of small icy worlds the size of Mercury floating out there. Put those on the map. You'll feel epic. You'll feel like you are truly looking at space. And then be complaining within a couple of games about not being able to see where the whole 2 usable (Earth and Mars) worlds in the Human system are!
In just playing the game, I find the current 5 worlds sucks. It makes it a pain to find the 1 or 2 usable planets that most systems have (as it could be any of them. Plenty of Earth looking planets that will be PQ 0). Star Dock likes all the eye candy though, so we are stuck with 4 completely useless items, just so some players that forget they are playing a space game will see a few planets and feel like they are playing an "epic" space game. Bleah. Game play over momentary eye candy should always be the rule. But not in this case. Bleah again! And you want to extend this so you can get a couple of seconds of "Wow. Look at them graphics! Boy, them planets sure look pretty! Now where is that one half-decent planet in this system that I want to colonize? Was it this one? This one? This one? This one? This one? That one? Maybe that one? Did I already check this one? Er, where is that dumb thing?"
#3) By adding in this option, it would affect all players of the game. StarDock would have to code it, StarDock would have to test it, StarDock would have to teach the computer how to handle it. That's all tasks that would take away the few but highly talented people on the development team from doing other things--- like improving the game, improving the AI in normal play, etc etc etc. So, it would bother everyone because we'd end up with a game that wasn't as good just to address one person's complaint of "this doesn't feel spacy enough!".
They have to compromise somewhere. Give the beta a good drubbing. See if you think it still needs a lot more eye candy to be fun.
As for epic looking space--- go give the games X2: The Threat or X3: The Reunion a spin. See if you don't feel like you are looking through space in those. I bet you do. I know I do.