O G San

Join Date 12/2003

How Many Of These Do You Have?

I've been lucky enough to travel and to live in different countries. Along the way, I've met people from various nations and cultures. But regardless of background, I find there are three characteristics which I look for in a new acquaintance: self-deprecation, intellectual curiosity and joie de vivre.

I'm not a fundamentalist about this, it's great if you have all three (the grand slam), but I won't write you off if you only possess one or two. I myself lack joie de vivre, which probably makes it the most important of the three to me. It's concievable that I may like you even if you have none of the above (the wooden spoon), though you would have to have three other characteristics: femininity, attractiveness and appalling taste in men. Anyone notice the implied self-deprecation in the last sentence?

So allow me to explain the importance of each:

1. Self-deprecation

We all have foibles and weaknesses and we shouldn't be afraid to laugh at them. I do this a lot, perhaps a little too much. There is a fine line between self-deprecation, which is healthy, and self-hatred, which is not. You should have a reasonable self-image without recourse to brashness.

I reallly hate people who constanty go on about how great they are, and then expect me to join in. If I think you're great, I'll tell you. If you tell me you're great, it means you're not. You're an eejit.

2. Intellectual Curiosity

This means a thirst for knowledge, a desire to know more about the world. I'm not saying that I expect you to have a PhD, I'm merely saying that, however much you know, you should want to know more.

The intellectually curious person likes to read about subjects in which they are not expert, in the hope that one day they may be. When they meet a person from a country to which they've never been, the intellectually curious person asks questions about that place, even if they've no intention of ever visiting.

I find the intellectually curious to be rewarding conversationists, not least beacuse they will be interested in what I have to say.

3. Joie de vivre

Ah, those French, they have a word for everything. For those of you who don't know (and if you're intellectually curious, you should want to know) this means "the joy of life".

Perhaps there is life after death, perhaps there is heaven and hell, perhaps (as I believe) there is nothing. But none of us knows for sure what lies in store once our number is up. So in the meantime, it's just good sense to try to get the most out of life. This means being positive about the big things in your life (family, friends, work). But it also means taking joy in the little things in life: a sunny day, the laughter of a child, the smell of good coffee.

I don't demand joie de vivre in every context of course. I'm not expecting you to be full of bonhomie on the day that your mother dies. Joie de vivre should not be confused with inane happiness, an inabililty to be either serious or upset. There are times when happiness is quite simply inapprporate. But on a general level, I think that taking joy from life is as sign of a healthy perspective.

Every person I know is lucky enough to have food in their stomach, clothes on their back and a roof over their head. There are millions of people who are not so fortunate. So yes, be sad when something bad happens and yes, complain (within reason) when something doesn't go your way. But for God's sake, realise how lucky you are and don't constantly moan about every little setback.

So, dear Joeuser, how many of these three do you have?

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three. i have three. isn't that what we decided when we went through this oh so many long nights in seoul? or was it two. maybe i don't have self-deprecation. i really can't remember, but let's say three anyway.

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I would say that I am possessed of all three in varying degrees although I may or may not choose to display any or all of them in a given situation.

I would say that I tend to relate the first with not taking oneself too seriously.

The second I feel is probably the strongest of my inate charactoristics.

The third is representative of my basic philosophy towards life in general and leans heavily back on the first in the context of not taking oneself too seriously.

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to a degree, all, and to a degree, none.

but I do have appalling taste in men--does that help?

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Harsh, Meghan

I've no idea. Don't think I can be self-deprecating and promote myself about such important qualities at the same time...

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I have all three to varying degrees...

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Nothing fixed, I am some of these, one of these or none of these, depending. I do think I have the joy of life in me most of the time. I try to enjoy the good moments as best I can.

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Harsh, Meghan

Yes, but 1. he asked for it

, and 2. it's true! (that my taste in men is horrible--not that OG is appalling!)

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Let's see, hmmm, one I am great, two people are curious of my intellect and three the only joy i get is when not thinking of life. Where do I fall, disturbed or distinct?

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all three have I

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JillUser

Join Date 11/2003

+17

all three have I

Mano, you sound like Yoda

Three have, I do also

And technically, joie de vivre means "joy of life" not "the joy of life". There are lots of forms of joy in life so this opens it up to a lot more people

I find joy in every day. I am happy by default. so I have #3 down.

#1 Was natural to me also. I have always been aware of superior traits in others but have had the self esteem necessary to turn that into joking about rather than hating myself.

#2 I have to a lesser degree of the other 2 but still have a pretty strong sense of. I think #1 and #3 contribute to #2. I love life and don't presume to know everything about it so why wouldn't I be curious about it?

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Interesting article OG. I believe I have a bit of each. There are days when there's more of one than others. These are certainly good ideals to look for in a friend.

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Soupy, you're a grand slam. A stick-on grand slam, as Big Fat Racist Ron would say.

Rachel, grand slam.

Meghan, 1 and 2, but not 3 (same as me).

Everyone else, I've never met you, so I don't know.

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i have three you told me so...yeah for me...but i'm ugly....do you know any more french sayings....got to love the grandslam.

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Yes, Pete, you've got the grand slam too, no worries.

Just to clarify, the bit about being a good-looking woman with awful taste in men only comes into play if you have none of the 3 attributes.

Besides Pete, your taste in men is exemplary

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Meghan, 1 and 2, but not 3 (same as me).

always interesting to see other people's opinions of you--even if you don't agree.

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Mano, you sound like Yoda

I'll take that as a compliment.... I love Yoda!

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What's a stick-on grand slam?

(proof, were it needed, of how intellectually curious i am)

always interesting to see other people's opinions of you--even if you don't agree.

Aye - I wouldn't have gotten the grand slam if I was giving these out. But you have joie de vivre, Meghan, as far as I'm concerned.

Cheers Barry! Nice to know i don't have to rely on my looks

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so let's see....i have a grand slam. that's good. and pete has exemplary taste in men. what have you two been up to since i left korea?

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Far be it from me to fence-sit, but varying degrees of slam for me please?

Self-depreciation - this is a bit of an NI (dare I whisper it, British?) thing - descends in to tall poppy syndrome often as not. Intellectual curiosity - when not moving in to over spinning of disparate plates / ADHD, umm and I still haven't read that book about Palestine. Joie de vivre - you and the huffy one have the family compliment of dour, so I think I'm onto a winner. Unfortunately, if I fail on these counts, attractive femininity notwithstanding, I have impeccable taste in men - none of them are worthy (oh, bugger self depreciation)

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Soupy,

what have you two been up to since i left korea?

Sitting around mournfully telling Soupy anecdotes of course

OGSister,

Stick on grand slam, you got all the joie de vivre of the four of us.

After discussions with Pete, it's been decided that two out of three shall be known as the "mini slam". One out of three is the "Scottish slam" (they always beat Italy but lose to everyone else).

Rachel,

"stick on" is one of the many idiosyncratic phrases used by Ron Atkinson, it means "definite", as in "that was a stick on penalty".

Anyone spot the way that Pete displayed all three attributes in one sentence? Clever man.

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And technically, joie de vivre means "joy of life" not "the joy of life".

Well, if you want to be really technical, vivre is, I believe, a verb, so "joy of living" would be even more accurate. Even "joy from living" is acceptable, though hardly catchy. (I'm trying to be annoying. Is it working yet?

)

Heck, why get technical over translation? I'm more of a spirit rather than letter type.

2 of 3. Joie de vivre is annoying.

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