Both the DirectX 9 and 11 versions throw the same error - It's a Windows 8.1 (32-bit) VirtualBox with 3D acceleration turned on, 2 CPU's, 2GB of memory, and 256MB of video memory. I tried a Windows 7 VirtualBox first but the game completely failed to even open a window, logs say it was DirectX 9 failing to initialize.
Before purchasing I neglected to notice your FAQ that says the game will never support Macs, and, well, I have no Windows PC's, so a virtual machine is my only option. Even if it's going to run like crap, I don't want to waste my $35 (which could have bought a decent bottle of scotch)