Banned for watching TV while posting.

Banned for thinking the Flintstones really had TV.

Banned for an unintelligible ban and being drunk in charge of a keyboard.

Banned for charging visitors to see your family album and overcharging them for parking in your driveway.

Banned for that wind break and the redirected breeze blowing all the pigeons off your roof.

Banned for fast bans and slow bans and in between both.

Banned for wind breaking so volatile that the wind-breaking appliance has to be derated at altitudes over 2,500 feet.  (That's I don't know how many meters, because the metric system is only used by aliens.)

banned for attempting to move at the speed of smell

Banned 'cause the cap'n invented jet propulsion with the advent of Curried Cabbage. Why do you think support bars are required in some rest rooms. Hold on tight......here it comes....."BLAM!"

Banned, all of you, for languishing in the mud, the blood and the beer while the band played The Rocky Horror Picture Show version of Monster Mash on antique washboards.

 Banned for powdered potato instead of the traditional mashup... thars nuffin like genuine bangers n' mash.

Banned for axle grease on the rotisserie and sump oil in the drip tray.