so..I thought I had all my ports openned up correctly, but after yesterdays patch I discovered I did not...
After some more farting around, I concluded that on my router I need to use Appliation Rules rather then Port Forward, and things appear much better. (I'm guessing I am no longer dependent on the dredded NAT Facilator).
It would be nice if there was some type of indicator of how your are actually connected to everyone..
