I don't seem to have too much trouble with the hards. This may be a really difficult question to answer though. I'll give you some tips. I'm sure you're already doing many of these things, but bear with me.
1. Buy potions. They're cheap and effective. Going back to the Crystal to heal often will make the enemy higher level because they'll be in combat longer.
2. Buy scrolls of teleportation on larger maps. They're cheap and they can save you tons of time. You want to remain near the battle as much as possible.
3. Don't take too many risks early on. You still get experience if any enemy (DG or grunts) dies NEAR you. I.E. you don't actually have to kill them yourself in order to get experience. So for the first few levels you may just want to run in battle to pick off one or two then step back. On the other hand...if there are no enemy DG's around, then go ahead and kill as many as possible. The goal is to not get so hurt early on that you have to leave battle to heal.
4. Besides potions, buy at least one item that gives you +hit points per second. It's a good cheap way to avoid going to the Crystal to heal often.
5. Capture logs of flags. Not only do they give nice bonuses, they also increase your war score. This is important because it determines what upgrades you can buy at your Citadel.
6. Some good early Citadel upgrades are Priests and increasing gold mine income.
7. If the enemy is really pushing you back toward your towers then upgrade the towers's damage. If you can keep the fight near your towers you have a big advantage. You'll get some experience for whatever the towers kill AND if an enemy DG attacks you, he will likely be attacked by your towers.
8. Sometimes it's ok to solo. The experience you get from any kill (DG or grunt) is divided by everyone that is in the immediate vacinity. So if you are the only DG around, you get ALL of the experience.
9. On the other hand, it is sometimes good to go with your fellow teammates so you can get some early kills. Early kills are important because it will give you the edge in levels early on. This makes it easier to get mid game kills and that makes it easier to get late game kills. My point is...the early game is IMPORTANT.
10. Oak is a general so don't forget to buy idols. These will let him summon minions. I don't beleive he can summon any minions without these.
11. Oak doesn't have a lot of ways of stopping the enemy from getting away if they should choose to run from you. There are certain items that can help him with this problem. Boots of speed are a good early game item. But make sure you keep an eye on all of the normal AND artifact items throughout the game.
12. If you find that your grunts are always outnumbered by enemy grunts...go to the Citadel and buy more waves. They're expensive, but worth it.
13. The most important flags to capture are the flags that control portalts. Many maps have these not only in your base...but also in the middle. The team that controls that gets a lot of extra reinforcements.
14. When you get to the mid game you can run around the battle to get to the enemy's rear flags (not the ones in their base though). It's a great idea to capture these (even if they capture them right back). It will increase your war score and make it so enemy DG's have to leave battle to recapture them.
15. If you are getting beat in it IS possible to use a scroll of teleportation in battle to get the heck out of these. You need to practice it a few times though, because the timing can be tricky.
16. Combat potions can also be used in combat (hence the name). However in the later part of the game they don't heal much...so try the other two levels of potions. The larger ones at the normal shop can heal a lot but they have a long cast time. And a lot of people miss the fact that there is an even larger potion at the artifact shop.
17. Always try to pick on lone enemy DG's. Two-on-one is three times easier than one-on-one (funky math...but it's true)
18. Area spells and items that have area damage are great because you can get large number of grunt kills in a single swing. This nets you a lot more experience and gold. Also, for Oak, this means he can heal his ally's.
19. If you pick Oak's Last Stand ability (I think that's what it's called)...once he dies he will go on something of a rampage for 10 seconds before is actual death. During this time do NOT run away. Since you are going to die anyways, try to get the last hit on the enemy that killed you. Running away is totally pointless when he is in this state.
I'm sure there's lots more. But this is all I can think of for now. I hope this helps.