ok I made a new impulse account, registered to the email I used to buy the game with.
This time I was able to log into multiplayer.
First attempt to log in I got the "there is a patch required to play online... blah blah"
I clicked ok, it checked for an update and there was none, so I clicked the 'instant game' thingy again.
This time it just chunked a little bit, but I got to the point where I could select a demigod and push the button.
Adter button pushing everything seems to blow up with games either requiring a password when they don't indicate they require one, or simply 'failed to join game', or both.
Also, it appears any time the game tries to refresh the game lobby, or basically anything related to network code, it locks solid for at least a minute or so.
I see games popping in and out of the lobby but I'm still not able to actually do anything about it.